Yesterday's Jam

Scene 4

Lift: Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift. Get out of the lift.

(Jen struggles out of the lift and makes her way down the corridor towards the IT department. Half way down she opens the door to the unisex toilet door to discover the post room man hovering over the toilet.)

Postman: Oh. Won't be a tick.

Jen: Oh my God! Oh God!

(Jen enters the office.)

Jen: Hello. Hello.

(Moss and Roy enter out of Jen's sight. Retreat then re-enter.)

Roy: Yes, I believe it was Tolstoy who said.... ooh it seems we have a visitor. I'm sorry, myself and Maurice were just engaged in quite a serious discussion about books and such. And didn't hear you come in.

Moss: Wait a second, you said it was Tolstoy who said what?

Roy: Ah, never mind that now Maurice.

Moss: When have you read Tolstoy?

Roy: Shut up Maurice.

Moss: Why are you speaking in that weird voice. When did.. I don't remember this conversation at all.

Jen: Don't let me disturb you, I just wanted to come down...

Roy: Oh, don't be silly you'd never disturb us.. (falls over)

No, err... many people come down here to visit.

Moss: What are you talking about. Who comes down? What people? Why are you giving me the secret signal to shut up?

Roy: So, what can we do you for?

Jen: I'm the new head of this department. Is this my office?

(Jen goes into he office)

Roy: Did she just... I am the head of this department!

Moss: I thought I was.

Roy It's one of us. It's certainly not her. I'm going to sort this out.

(goes to Jen's office)

Moss: Roy, you've got a head wound there. Head wound!

Roy: I don't want to be rude or anything but I wasn't informed of any changes to this department.

Jen: Oh did they not tell you about me?

Roy: No, and we are perfectly fine down here thank you very much. We are more than capable of taking care of ourselves.

Jen: Sure. Sure. You know you're covered in blood.

(Postman enters main office and drops a package onto Moss' desk)

Postman: Moss. Amazon thingy.

Moss: Ahh wicked. I know what this is. It's the new Harry Potter. I got the child edition and the adult edition just to check there are no differences in the text.

(Roy enters from Jen's office)

Roy: Sorry but I'm not going to be able to deal with that woman. Is nobody else going to get the phone. I suppose I'll get it. No, that is not a phone. I'm going to have a little lie down.

Scene: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9


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